Fast Sex?

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office...but she was dating someone else.

One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said,
'I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you...
'The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!'

Eddie said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor,
you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend... so she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.'

She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls her on her cell phone and asks what happened...?

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,

'The bastard had all quarters!'

Management Lesson:
Always consider a business proposition in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.

7%

I received this cute forward the other day and thought it was really cute and I wanted to share it. I need to heed some of these ideas lately.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion, today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."


It's estimated that 93% of people who receive this email won't forward it. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the
title '7%'. I'm in the 7%. Remember, friends are the family we choose for ourselves.

Have a good day.

Document Disposal

...just a helpful reminder to dispose of your documents properly.
It's things like this that are good reminders for me too.

Tea Treat and The Truth

One of my favorite "treats" is some strong black tea like Tazo's "Awake" variety and some heavy whipping cream. (I like my tea like the guys at JustUsBoys like their men. *wink*)
In a pinch some half and half will do, but heavy whipping cream is what makes it such a treat. I don't even need to add sugar because it's so good with those two ingredients.
I always like it when my mom and dad have some heavy whipping cream in the fridge because I usually don't and that is part of what keeps it a "treat' and does not turn it into a staple.
I think it's the caffeine that *jitters* excites me. *wink* No matter, I'll drink to that.

What's even better is that I can have it out a mug that reminds me of my childhood. (No that's not where I grew up, that would be a child "hood." *wink* Well, wait, it IS where I grew up. Strike that from the record.) I grabbed a mug out of my parents kitchen cabinets and it happened to be a Red Roof Inn one yesterday and a vessel featuring "The Berenstain Bears' today. Those bears taught me a whole bunch growing up. (...much like the bears I deal with today as well who teach me bunches.)
The series of children's books were something my family had almost the complete series and was a book that we read as a family.
I think my favorite book was the one about telling the truth. I still to this day think of it when I think I need to tell a fib.
Those close to may even recognize the cover as a "cover-up" I refer to often and default on when I need to make the point that I am not telling the truth. Now they know where the "Well, it started with this giant purple bird..." comes from.
If I ever want to tell a bold faced lie, I think of this book and want to personally thank my parents and the Berenstain Bears. (...and I guess indirectly, Stan and Jan Berenstain who created them.) Thanks, guys, it helped.

It's so crazy how things like that stick in my memory, but I can't remember someone's first name or what day of the week it is some days.

Things are Not Always What they Seem

Things are not always what they seem.

In this photo to the left, it looks pretty bad for the car that ran off the road, but when you see the photo to the right, you can see, it's just not that simple. It sucks even more.

You might have to make the photo to the right a little larger to see what I mean. The photo to the left is just a small portion of the entire picture.

I don't know how real this is, but the idea behind it certainly is real.

It goes both ways though. Although in this photo it's a tad worse, often in real life, it's not as bad as it seems at first.

Runs with Scissors

We generally learn in school, or even earlier, that you should not run with scissors.
Running with sharp objects in any form when you fall down or run into something can cause the object to impale you. ....and I can't imagine that's too pretty in any case.

I am afraid I may be at fault for running with scissors.
Many times, I think, "It's only a short distance." or "It won't happen to me." but it's not that easy.
Plus, not only that, I believe I am in a place where I have an example to set.

Of course, I am speaking the most metaphorical language I can muster up.

If I had to translate what I mean by "Running with scissors." I would say, "I often grab something that I need to do a job and put it in my hands or mind. On the way from point A to point B, I run or am foolish, insensitive or inconsiderate and "Trip" or make a mistake, whereby, I "Impale" myself.

The right way to carry scissors can be found HERE.

If you need me, I will be running with scissors.

Age & Robin

Howard sent me a photo of Burt Ward who played Robin on TV. In this "Then" and "Now" comparison he certainly does look different. Burt Ward wrote a book called, "My Life in Tights." and helped the Robin character gain much of his popularity.

You can see more of the "Then" and "Now" photos which are quite significant in most circumstances at http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/memba_them__3#29189.

I am infatuated with the character more than the person playing him.
While I do think Chris O'Donnell was the hottest Robin besides the porn pictures I have seen of a Bel Ami model dressed up as Robin, it's the "Boy Wonder" character that I am in love with.

As I look at this, I think of something I heard once on TV, if I am not mistaken. (...which I have been known to do.) I heard a resounding quote of "Age is a privilege, not a curse." and I totally love that. (I can't remember what movie or TV show I heard it in, but I am appreciating it more and more every day.)

HSBC Print Ads - DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW

I have to tell you, the HSBC ads I see at the airports all over the world are truly amazing to me.

In a strange way, they turn me on. ...and I want to find out more. I went online and was thrilled to find out that most of the print ads are available online. http://www.yourpointofview.com/hsbcads_print.aspx

The basic message that 'The Worlds Local Bank' is sending here is one that I feel like I "preach" (I feel like David Forest with all these quotation marks. Whoa.) often.

It's REALLY important for me to think that what I might find as successful, enjoyable, or exciting, does not mean that the person next to me will find them in such a way. In fact, they may find it totally opposite and I should respect DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW.

In a large way, these ads are me.
...and I wanted to share them with you.

The Way to Happiness

I passed the Hollywood Education and Literacy Project (www.helplearn.org) today when I was walking to the subway stop.

They have "The Way To Happiness." (Are you supposed to capitalize "To" in that phrase? I might need to stop in there this week.) where there are some cute drawings children created.
It's fun to see how simple things should be.

"Do things you are supposed to do." - It's much harder than it seems, huh?
"Be Productive Stay Busy" - I might have that one covered.
"Take Care of Yourself." - I second that.

Buttery Rich

I want to be buttery rich! *wink*

Actually, I have to tell you, if I learned anything from cartoons, it was that at the end, I would wish to be back the way it was, so no I don't wish to be buttery rich. I will enjoy and deal with the way life is and have fun with it just like it is now.

...but it did make for a fun blog post.