| 1) Getting up at 4am on sunday is standard practice.
2) You can't switch on anything electrical without a credit card sized piece of plastic.
3) getting 2 days off in a row is like a having a 2 week vacation.
4) You uses abbreviations and acronyms for EVERYTHING, like DM, PMS, MOD, C & E, F & B, HR, FOM etc...
5) Your stomach, now used to eating staff canteen food, is capable of swallowing ANYTHING!
6) Your day somehow doesn't seem complete without someone yelling at you in full view of the rest of the hotel, convinced they are right about everything, when in actuality they are so wrong its untrue.
7) People assume you know the answer to everything, when actually you just came on shift 5 minutes ago.
8) You were supposed to finish work a 3pm, but its 4.30 and you're still here.
9) Your bank is NEVER balanced.
10) You learn, VERY QUICKLY, to never, EVER, f**k with the person who handles your food!
11) Back to Backs, double and split shifts are the norm.
12) Minibars are NOT REFRIDGERATORS!!!!!!!!!!
13) Minibars are AUTO CHARGING AND WEIGHT SENSITIVE!!
14) Guests do not grasp the concept of nos 12 and 13!
15) Conference and Events never has the same staff working on two consecutive parties, as all of the staff are hired on a shift by shift basis.
16) At least one person will complain about the fact their debit card has a mysterious charge on it, which takes 8 days to clear. But of course we did ask for a CREDIT card on check in!!
17) No matter how hard you try to explain that the room type was REQUESTED, NOT GUARANTEED, the guest always expects to get a Non Smoking, King Size Bed with a view!!
18) Air conditioning is ALWAYS noisy. No matter how far from the unit the room is, someone can hear it rattling.
19) See number 10, but replace food with Laundry!
20) Guests insist on splitting the bill so that the "movies" they order are not on the same credit card.
21) Office politics are more OTT than real politics.
22) your social life revolves entirely around work nights out, since that's the only guaranteed time off you get to go out and get wasted!!
Post more in the wall and the best will get added to the list
I was asked to post the following, let me know what you think:
"I am a Front Desk Agent"
I have advanced degrees in Accounting, Public Relations, Marketing, Business, Computer Science, Civil Engineering, and Swahili. I can also read minds.
Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago even though you don't have the confirmation number and you think it was made under a name that starts with "S".
It is completely my fault that the blizzard shut down the airport and you have to sleep in a warm king-size bed while 5000 of your co-travellers are sleeping in benches at the airport. I am sorry.
It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds in each, four rollaways, 3 cribs, and yes, I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.
I am a Front Desk Agent. I am expected to speak all languages fluently. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday on the weekend we're sold out that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. THIS time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad. And it is my fault that everyone wanted to stay here. I should have known you were coming in, even though you had no reservation. After all, you stay at our brand of hotel all the time, 300 nights a year, and this is only the first time you've ever been to our city.
I am a front desk agent. I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls, delivering six bath towels to room 625, plunging the toilet in room 101, and restocking the supply of pool towels, all at the same time. Yes, I will be glad to call the van driver and tell him to drive over all the cars stuck in traffic because you've been waiting at the airport for 15 minutes and you've got jet lag.
I am a front desk agent, an operator, a bellhop, houseman, guest service representative, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information specialist, entertainment critic, restauranteur, stock broker, referee, janitor, computer technician, plumber, ice-breaker, postman, babysitter, dispatcher, laundry cleaner, lifeguard, electrician, ambassador, personal fitness trainer, fax expert, human jukebox, domestic abuse counselor, and verbal punching bag. Yes, I know room 112 is not answering their phone. And of course I have their travel itinerary so I know exactly where they went when they left here 9 hours ago, and what their cell phone number is.
I always know where to find the best vegetarian-kosher-Mongolian-barbecue restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending any money and without getting caught in traffic. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, and the nation's economy.
I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel, Antarctica. Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special $1 rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.
I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, condole, upsell, downsell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, fix the printer, and tell your friends that you're here. And I know exactly where 613 Possum Trot Lane is in the Way Out There subdivision that they just built last week.
After all, I AM a Front Desk Agent!
And following on from this I bring you -
I am an Event Manager!
I am an Event Manager...
I have unlimited resources at my disposal.
I always keep at least 10 meeting rooms under my desk.
I can make any of my rooms larger or smaller, depending on your program needs. I will naturally remove any supporting pillars from your meeting space and will install windows in every room as needed.
Unfortunately the 'ocean view' is not scheduled to arrive until Day Two of the program for which I sincerely apologise; however, I will move the convention centre two feet to the left to accommodate your request by the end of Day One, although I realize the event is only next week.
I can only throw myself on your mercy and grovel at your feet; I completely agree that it is inconceivable that we should have any other groups booked into the hotel during our event. And the additional breakout rooms you asked for this morning for tomorrow's conference will be added to the hotel by the end of today.
Naturally it will be no problem to turn the plenary session for 200 (classroom style) into a hollow square for 300 with rear screen projection, simultaneous Japanese translation and satellite hook-up during the 15-minute coffee break.
Unfortunately, due to space constraints, and the fact that the final program bears no resemblance whatsoever to the initial program that we contracted the space under, I'll have to suspend the lunch buffet from the ceiling above the plenary session, then suck the gravity out of the ballroom - not a problem.
I've located the boxes that the sponsors sent last month under their mother's maiden name to the other hotel down the street, and again I apologise for not having found them sooner.
In answer to all your questions, it is of course, understood that I am telepathically aware of all your speakers needs and I'll set up an overhead, LCD panel, dual slide projectors, two screens, laser pointer, podium microphones, two table top microphones, podium knock-out switch, timer and blue M&Ms in each room, which I've negotiated at no extra charge, just in case they are needed.
Additionally it goes without saying that an A/V technician, engineer, baby-sitter and I will be underneath your head table for the duration of your event, in case you need anything else.
It has been great working with you on this event and every other just like it and I can't wait for the next one!!
In addition these posts, please also read the newest topic on our discussion board, entitled: THE BEST COMPLAINT EVER!!! |
I totally love this ad for the hotel group called, "Morgans Hotels."
Check out this link http://www.morganshotelgroup.com/so/q3.html?cid=2009Q3B after you've decided who you would like to be.
Build your hotel to your own specifications
